BENCH

The word for today is BENCH. A BENCH is something I don't think about much, don't notice, until I do, and then they are everywhere--in my local park, along the lakefront, on sale at the local nursery and landscape store. A BENCH is a simple structure that supports someone who is sitting, but it is not a place where one would get too comfortable or stay very long. Most BENCHES are designed so that you cannot sleep on them. BENCHES can also be found in stadiums, but if you are in a church they are called pews.


In the BCS football game on television right now the freshman quarterback for the Texas Longhorns was called off the BENCH because the regular quarterback got injured. While athletes do not want to be BENCHED, lawyers are honored when elevated to the BENCH. In dog shows, I just learned, the platform that holds the animal for exhibition is called a BENCH.


Sometimes BENCHES are in idyllic settings or offer stunning views. Often BENCHES are donated by families or friends in memory of a loved one who enjoyed that particular setting or view. I make it a practice to read the name(s) on all the BENCHES I sit on. My neighbor Eli pointed out the bench in our local park. It's dedicated to my friend's mother, he told me, she died from breast cancer. It's different sitting on that BENCH now. With that knowledge I have more reverence for the BENCH. I have more reverence for my life.


When I was in Maine recently my friend Kathy told me that a BENCH was dedicated to our friend (her partner) John, who died two years ago. John was not the kind of man who sat on a bench--he walked, swam, sailed, hiked, camped. John's entire life was an adventure. I met John during the years that I walked my dog Rosie along the Eastern Promenade every morning. He would be walking along appreciating the trees or the clouds or picking up litter. Once we became friends, we drove his truck to the ocean, cooked dinner in the back of the cab, drank a glass of wine, played Scrabble and watched the sun set. We paddled his canoe out to his sailboat and toured the islands in Casco Bay. We watched the movie Seabiscuit together at his house one New Year's Eve when I thought I was going to lose my mind. I will never forget his kindness.


Here in Evanston I have another friend with whom I walk frequently. We walk along the lakefront from southern Evanston up to the Northwestern campus, where there is a point that looks up toward Grosse Point Lighthouse. This is where we take a break. I lay down on the grass and relax; he does yoga stretches. There is no BENCH at this spot. It helps the spot feel less tamed, more private. I don't mind the feeling of the ground when it is hard and dry or wet and damp.


John's BENCH is near the picnic table about three-quarters of the way down the hill, Kathy told me. I didn't have time to see it during my visit. A BENCH is no substitute for a man; a BENCH is no substitute for solid ground. Still, I hope that those who come upon John's BENCH read the dedication, and either learn about or remember someone who loved the Eastern Prom and life and his friends very, very much. Funny how a BENCH can make me think about how much I miss him.