The word for today is AVOID. AVOID means to stay away from or to prevent from happening. There are so many things I try to AVOID. Actually, every time I do one thing, I am AVOIDING doing something else. I have tried to analyze AVOIDANCE over the last few days and I got myself so confused that I AVOIDED writing about it.
On Monday morning I did several things that I had been AVOIDING. I paid some bills, I went to City Hall to get my 2010 parking sticker, I requested a hearing to protest a snow emergency parking ticket, I called both the Maine Turnpike Authority and the Illinois Tollway Authority to clear up confusion about my EZ/I-PASS.
Usually I try to AVOID bureaucracy and authority, but on Monday morning I was on a roll. I faced my fears head on. Actually, I was AVOIDING the dire consequences of continued AVOIDANCE. If I did not get my parking sticker I would get more parking tickets; if I did not clear up the confusion with the turnpike authorities I would be zapped with fines and violations. My AVOIDANCE would cause more trouble--and more money--than it was worth.
Another thing that I AVOID is housework. Today for instance, I had a mess of dishes in my sink. Instead of doing my dishes, I went to my neighbor's and washed her dishes. More than a week ago I told someone that I would throw away all the rotten food (old soymilk and chicken broth containers and spaghetti sauce jars, etc.) in my refrigerator. One night I washed out a few containers, decided I'd done enough and AVOIDED the rest. If I AVOID opening the refrigerator I won't even see what I'm AVOIDING.
The problem with AVOIDANCE, as I've alluded to above, is that it never really works. If I never clean out my fridge, eventually it will get so stuffed with rotten food that the door won't close and my apartment will begin to stink. If I don't open my mail or don't pay my bills or don't answer my phone, there will just be more to deal with when I do.
I went to the movies with a friend this weekend, someone who engages in similar AVOIDANCE behaviors. I don't really think of myself as a grown up, he told me. I don't think of myself as a man, I'm just a guy. But you own a condo and have a daughter in college, I reminded him, you're not giving yourself enough credit.
There are some things we can't AVOID. Whether my friend thinks of himself as a grown up or not, he is. Whether I AVOID my responsibilities in this organized society or not, I still have them. When I want friendships and relationships to go away, when I want to AVOID people, places and things, they are still there.
I spend a lot of time with animals. And, I spend a lot of time with other people who spend a lot of time with animals. Some of these animal people don't like other people very much. They would prefer to AVOID people and just be with animals. There are lots of women I know who would prefer to AVOID relationships with men, because they are just too much trouble.
Everyone who knows me or who reads my blog knows how much I love animals, and yet I know that if I did not allow people-- men, women, children, friends, colleagues, family members, lovers, neighbors into my life there would be a huge void. Because sometimes AVOIDANCE creates A VOID or makes the one that's there even bigger.
I'm making a commitment to fill my void; I'm making a commitment to AVOID AVOIDANCE; I'm making a commitment to engage with myself and with others in my life. YIKES! Maybe that's why I didn't want to write about AVOID.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
BENCH
The word for today is BENCH. A BENCH is something I don't think about much, don't notice, until I do, and then they are everywhere--in my local park, along the lakefront, on sale at the local nursery and landscape store. A BENCH is a simple structure that supports someone who is sitting, but it is not a place where one would get too comfortable or stay very long. Most BENCHES are designed so that you cannot sleep on them. BENCHES can also be found in stadiums, but if you are in a church they are called pews.
In the BCS football game on television right now the freshman quarterback for the Texas Longhorns was called off the BENCH because the regular quarterback got injured. While athletes do not want to be BENCHED, lawyers are honored when elevated to the BENCH. In dog shows, I just learned, the platform that holds the animal for exhibition is called a BENCH.
Sometimes BENCHES are in idyllic settings or offer stunning views. Often BENCHES are donated by families or friends in memory of a loved one who enjoyed that particular setting or view. I make it a practice to read the name(s) on all the BENCHES I sit on. My neighbor Eli pointed out the bench in our local park. It's dedicated to my friend's mother, he told me, she died from breast cancer. It's different sitting on that BENCH now. With that knowledge I have more reverence for the BENCH. I have more reverence for my life.
When I was in Maine recently my friend Kathy told me that a BENCH was dedicated to our friend (her partner) John, who died two years ago. John was not the kind of man who sat on a bench--he walked, swam, sailed, hiked, camped. John's entire life was an adventure. I met John during the years that I walked my dog Rosie along the Eastern Promenade every morning. He would be walking along appreciating the trees or the clouds or picking up litter. Once we became friends, we drove his truck to the ocean, cooked dinner in the back of the cab, drank a glass of wine, played Scrabble and watched the sun set. We paddled his canoe out to his sailboat and toured the islands in Casco Bay. We watched the movie Seabiscuit together at his house one New Year's Eve when I thought I was going to lose my mind. I will never forget his kindness.
Here in Evanston I have another friend with whom I walk frequently. We walk along the lakefront from southern Evanston up to the Northwestern campus, where there is a point that looks up toward Grosse Point Lighthouse. This is where we take a break. I lay down on the grass and relax; he does yoga stretches. There is no BENCH at this spot. It helps the spot feel less tamed, more private. I don't mind the feeling of the ground when it is hard and dry or wet and damp.
John's BENCH is near the picnic table about three-quarters of the way down the hill, Kathy told me. I didn't have time to see it during my visit. A BENCH is no substitute for a man; a BENCH is no substitute for solid ground. Still, I hope that those who come upon John's BENCH read the dedication, and either learn about or remember someone who loved the Eastern Prom and life and his friends very, very much. Funny how a BENCH can make me think about how much I miss him.
In the BCS football game on television right now the freshman quarterback for the Texas Longhorns was called off the BENCH because the regular quarterback got injured. While athletes do not want to be BENCHED, lawyers are honored when elevated to the BENCH. In dog shows, I just learned, the platform that holds the animal for exhibition is called a BENCH.
Sometimes BENCHES are in idyllic settings or offer stunning views. Often BENCHES are donated by families or friends in memory of a loved one who enjoyed that particular setting or view. I make it a practice to read the name(s) on all the BENCHES I sit on. My neighbor Eli pointed out the bench in our local park. It's dedicated to my friend's mother, he told me, she died from breast cancer. It's different sitting on that BENCH now. With that knowledge I have more reverence for the BENCH. I have more reverence for my life.
When I was in Maine recently my friend Kathy told me that a BENCH was dedicated to our friend (her partner) John, who died two years ago. John was not the kind of man who sat on a bench--he walked, swam, sailed, hiked, camped. John's entire life was an adventure. I met John during the years that I walked my dog Rosie along the Eastern Promenade every morning. He would be walking along appreciating the trees or the clouds or picking up litter. Once we became friends, we drove his truck to the ocean, cooked dinner in the back of the cab, drank a glass of wine, played Scrabble and watched the sun set. We paddled his canoe out to his sailboat and toured the islands in Casco Bay. We watched the movie Seabiscuit together at his house one New Year's Eve when I thought I was going to lose my mind. I will never forget his kindness.
Here in Evanston I have another friend with whom I walk frequently. We walk along the lakefront from southern Evanston up to the Northwestern campus, where there is a point that looks up toward Grosse Point Lighthouse. This is where we take a break. I lay down on the grass and relax; he does yoga stretches. There is no BENCH at this spot. It helps the spot feel less tamed, more private. I don't mind the feeling of the ground when it is hard and dry or wet and damp.
John's BENCH is near the picnic table about three-quarters of the way down the hill, Kathy told me. I didn't have time to see it during my visit. A BENCH is no substitute for a man; a BENCH is no substitute for solid ground. Still, I hope that those who come upon John's BENCH read the dedication, and either learn about or remember someone who loved the Eastern Prom and life and his friends very, very much. Funny how a BENCH can make me think about how much I miss him.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Over
The word for today is OVER. It ain't OVER til the fat lady sings; OVER and OVER crimson and clover; think it OVER; turn it OVER; roll over; get OVER it; I'll have my eggs OVER easy.
I thought of the word OVER when I was walking Basker this afternoon. Basker lives OVER on Michigan Ave. on the other side of Sheridan Rd. I go OVER to Basker's around one o'clock each week day. I can't get OVER that I have created this new life--walking and boarding dogs. It doesn't quite fit the image of the OVERachiever I was supposed to be. But those days, of trying to be an OVERachiever, are OVER. Instead I walk dogs and think about words. I thought about Meryl Streep portraying Julia Child trying to flip OVER an omelette.
The dictionary has OVER fifty entries defining OVER. OVER can mean to be above something such as a speed limit or a certain age; OVER can mean do to something while in the midst of another activity such as reading the paper OVER breakfast or making plans OVER a drink. Sometimes we talk OVER the telephone; other times we fly OVER many states to visit a friend who lives in another place.
I read in a friend's blog that she thought she would never get OVER the death of her three-day old son. Her son died more than twenty-five years ago; though she did not get OVER her child's death, she did have more children, she changed careers, partners; she got on with her life; her own life was not OVER.
OVER time, I have gotten OVER experiences that I did not think I would survive. On the other hand, some problems I encounter OVER and OVER. One of the beautiful and comforting things about getting older is developing perspective. OVER time I will get OVER "it"; I will get through to another side.
P.S. I know a lot of folk who listened to this song OVER and OVER....Enjoy the "oldster" version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C4HQQSz-K8
I thought of the word OVER when I was walking Basker this afternoon. Basker lives OVER on Michigan Ave. on the other side of Sheridan Rd. I go OVER to Basker's around one o'clock each week day. I can't get OVER that I have created this new life--walking and boarding dogs. It doesn't quite fit the image of the OVERachiever I was supposed to be. But those days, of trying to be an OVERachiever, are OVER. Instead I walk dogs and think about words. I thought about Meryl Streep portraying Julia Child trying to flip OVER an omelette.
The dictionary has OVER fifty entries defining OVER. OVER can mean to be above something such as a speed limit or a certain age; OVER can mean do to something while in the midst of another activity such as reading the paper OVER breakfast or making plans OVER a drink. Sometimes we talk OVER the telephone; other times we fly OVER many states to visit a friend who lives in another place.
I read in a friend's blog that she thought she would never get OVER the death of her three-day old son. Her son died more than twenty-five years ago; though she did not get OVER her child's death, she did have more children, she changed careers, partners; she got on with her life; her own life was not OVER.
OVER time, I have gotten OVER experiences that I did not think I would survive. On the other hand, some problems I encounter OVER and OVER. One of the beautiful and comforting things about getting older is developing perspective. OVER time I will get OVER "it"; I will get through to another side.
P.S. I know a lot of folk who listened to this song OVER and OVER....Enjoy the "oldster" version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C4HQQSz-K8
Monday, January 4, 2010
END
The word for today is END. It may seem strange to write about the END at the beginning of the year, but sometimes to get on with the new, other things need to END.
The END can mean the part of a table that is the extreme edge of it. If you don't get along with someone it is a good idea to sit at the other END of the table from them. I might be at the END of my rope or my wits END. Old movies rolled until the credits said THE END; my childhood storybooks also said THE END when there was no more story to tell. Some ENDINGS are happy; some are not.
Sometimes things END and no one tells you. Sometimes ENDINGS come by surprise without warning. All of a sudden I find myself at the END of a roll of toilet paper. Car accidents and sudden illnesses END lives; relationships END. Some ENDS are clean breaks and others go on and on, seemingly without END. Seasons END; semesters END; jobs END, but war and poverty and suffering never seem to END. There is a position in football called a tight END, the position farthest from the center. When the game is over one may wonder, to what END?
When I hike I want to walk to the END of the trail. Some people get on a train or a bus and ride all the way until the END of the line. In these cases the END is simply a marker, a termination point. Get off the train or the bus and keep walking. There is no END to what one can say about the word END.
Rosie and I are coming to the END of over twenty consecutive days of dog guests at Amy & Rosie's B&B. We are tired, ready for our nonstop caregiving to END so we can rest and begin again.
To what END am I writing this? I am writing this to avoid feeling sad, and at the same time to acknowledge, the END of yet another brief romance. I am writing this to avoid feeling anticipatory grief about the likely END of my cat Albert's life.
Albert has been on this earth for almost twenty years. I have been watching him lose weight and struggle to urinate and defecate. I know THE END is near, but I don't know when it will come. I will have to wait and see whether or not this time -- today, this week, this month -- is actually THE END.
The END can mean the part of a table that is the extreme edge of it. If you don't get along with someone it is a good idea to sit at the other END of the table from them. I might be at the END of my rope or my wits END. Old movies rolled until the credits said THE END; my childhood storybooks also said THE END when there was no more story to tell. Some ENDINGS are happy; some are not.
Sometimes things END and no one tells you. Sometimes ENDINGS come by surprise without warning. All of a sudden I find myself at the END of a roll of toilet paper. Car accidents and sudden illnesses END lives; relationships END. Some ENDS are clean breaks and others go on and on, seemingly without END. Seasons END; semesters END; jobs END, but war and poverty and suffering never seem to END. There is a position in football called a tight END, the position farthest from the center. When the game is over one may wonder, to what END?
When I hike I want to walk to the END of the trail. Some people get on a train or a bus and ride all the way until the END of the line. In these cases the END is simply a marker, a termination point. Get off the train or the bus and keep walking. There is no END to what one can say about the word END.
Rosie and I are coming to the END of over twenty consecutive days of dog guests at Amy & Rosie's B&B. We are tired, ready for our nonstop caregiving to END so we can rest and begin again.
To what END am I writing this? I am writing this to avoid feeling sad, and at the same time to acknowledge, the END of yet another brief romance. I am writing this to avoid feeling anticipatory grief about the likely END of my cat Albert's life.
Albert has been on this earth for almost twenty years. I have been watching him lose weight and struggle to urinate and defecate. I know THE END is near, but I don't know when it will come. I will have to wait and see whether or not this time -- today, this week, this month -- is actually THE END.
I have returned to this blog because it is one of the few things in life I can control. I can say I have no more to say tonight. I can say I have come to THE END.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
MATTER
The word for today is MATTER. As in "what's the MATTER," or "does it really MATTER." I am keeping things simple here, due to post-holiday exhaustion, so I will not tackle the type of MATTER that is smaller than an atom.
That type of MATTER does not MATTER in this MATTER.
The concept of MATTER that I'm interested in may be defined as a noun, meaning something that is troubling, or it may be defined as a verb, meaning to be of importance, to signify. But if something MATTERS can't it MATTER in a good way? No one ever says "what's the MATTER" when you're smiling or laughing. That remark is only evoked by worry or concern, by pensiveness or silence. It is completely different than asking "what's up," "what's going on," "what's so funny" or "what's going on."
This morning I wondered if it MATTERED whether the temperature outside was -1 or +1. Well it did MATTER to me, it made a psychological difference. Sometimes my inquiry continues, does it MATTER whether I look at the temperature on the computer or on an actual thermometer outside? Isn't it how I feel when I go outside, isn't it what I experience that MATTERS?
I wonder about what MATTERS when there is too much MATTER in my mind. Does it MATTER if I do the dishes before I go to sleep; does it MATTER if I wash my hair in the morning; does it matter if I put on lipstick before I go the dog park or into the Starbucks. Does it MATTER whether I put on both socks before I put on my shoes, or put on one sock and then one shoe, etc., etc...Some of these inquiries are extremely ridiculous.
On the other hand, does it MATTER if I step on the brakes or on the gas at a red light. YES!!! Does it MATTER if I pay the rent? YES!!! Does it MATTER if I eat every day? YES!!! Does it MATTER if I give and receive love in this world. YES!!!
Maybe, in the spirit of the New Year, I will make a commitment to let go of who and what do not MATTER in my life and to focus on the people and things that do MATTER.
Does getting enough sleep MATTER. YES!!! Good night everyone. You all do MATTER to me.
That type of MATTER does not MATTER in this MATTER.
The concept of MATTER that I'm interested in may be defined as a noun, meaning something that is troubling, or it may be defined as a verb, meaning to be of importance, to signify. But if something MATTERS can't it MATTER in a good way? No one ever says "what's the MATTER" when you're smiling or laughing. That remark is only evoked by worry or concern, by pensiveness or silence. It is completely different than asking "what's up," "what's going on," "what's so funny" or "what's going on."
This morning I wondered if it MATTERED whether the temperature outside was -1 or +1. Well it did MATTER to me, it made a psychological difference. Sometimes my inquiry continues, does it MATTER whether I look at the temperature on the computer or on an actual thermometer outside? Isn't it how I feel when I go outside, isn't it what I experience that MATTERS?
I wonder about what MATTERS when there is too much MATTER in my mind. Does it MATTER if I do the dishes before I go to sleep; does it MATTER if I wash my hair in the morning; does it matter if I put on lipstick before I go the dog park or into the Starbucks. Does it MATTER whether I put on both socks before I put on my shoes, or put on one sock and then one shoe, etc., etc...Some of these inquiries are extremely ridiculous.
On the other hand, does it MATTER if I step on the brakes or on the gas at a red light. YES!!! Does it MATTER if I pay the rent? YES!!! Does it MATTER if I eat every day? YES!!! Does it MATTER if I give and receive love in this world. YES!!!
Maybe, in the spirit of the New Year, I will make a commitment to let go of who and what do not MATTER in my life and to focus on the people and things that do MATTER.
Does getting enough sleep MATTER. YES!!! Good night everyone. You all do MATTER to me.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
HARAMAKI
The word for today is HARAMAKI. It is the first word I have written about that is not, as far as I know, in an English dictionary.
Until a few weeks ago I did not know that HARAMAKI already existed. I was very excited because I thought I had invented something. I thought I had invented what I would have called a tummy scarf.
You see I live in Chicago and I am a dog walker. I am also a middle-aged woman who is determined not to look frumpy, which means I wear relatively low cut jeans and jackets that come to my hips. Oh a cold draft can creep in that small gap between my jeans and my jacket. (Especially at the small of my back.) One day I took a fleece scarf, wrapped it around my waist, secured it like a bath towel, and then zipped up my jacket--it worked great! I felt so warm, so secure. Why hasn't anyone created this I thought. Well....
Thanks to Google I discovered that tummy warmers were first created in the Samurai period in Japan. It turns out that now they are a "fashion" item in Japan, and hip Americans have imported them. And, though they come in many designs for tweens, teens and twentysomethings, some HARAMAKI are simply solid-colored fleece, for oldsters like me, who just want to keep warm. (I'd like to give a plug to www.haramakilove.com.)
Growing up in the Northeast I learned to wear a hat and gloves, warm socks and boots, and a scarf around my neck. When I lived in Maine, I learned to love long underwear from L.L. Beans. My friends and I joked about old men who didn't take off their long underwear from October through May, though behind the joking I really understood why.
During my time in Maine I learned a lot about macrobiotics, acupuncture and Eastern medicine. I learned that the kidneys are vital to my life's essence and energy. I learned that the dark circles I have always had under my eyes could be due to kidney deficiency (or my heritage as an Ashkenazi Jew).
Here is a rather beautiful excerpt that I just found about the kidneys.
From Zhuang Yuanchen, Shujuzi: Inner Chapters (Shujuzi Neipian), Ming Dynasty:http://www.itmonline.org/5organs/kidney.htm
The kidney is the ocean of the human body. Since oceans are situated on a lower level than the earth's streams and rivers, they draw every one of them to form one large body of water. Oceans may appear vast and inexhaustible, yet they still drain off some of their seemingly unlimited supply. One way of drainage is called 'going to ruins,' meaning the water drains down into the earth from where it will not return. The other way of drainage is called 'dwelling with the stars,' meaning the water steams toward the sky and later rains down to earth again, where it dissipates into rivers and streams and eventually returns to the ocean. This is the water that circulates between heaven and earth, always striving to keep an equilibrium between the extreme states of drought and flooding.
Though I no longer live near the ocean, I do live near Lake Michigan. On cold January mornings, when the air temperature is in the single digits, I see the water steaming towards the sky. I did not know, until I read the passage above, that this is part of the EQUILIBRIUM that I search for between my extreme states of despair and euphoria. When I walk the dogs by the lake each morning my EQUILIBRIUM is rignt in front of me. I have a sense that the animals know this. I am grateful that they bring me closer to the connection between the earth, the water and the sky. It would be so much harder to find the connection, to find EQUILIBRIUM, without them.
Until a few weeks ago I did not know that HARAMAKI already existed. I was very excited because I thought I had invented something. I thought I had invented what I would have called a tummy scarf.
You see I live in Chicago and I am a dog walker. I am also a middle-aged woman who is determined not to look frumpy, which means I wear relatively low cut jeans and jackets that come to my hips. Oh a cold draft can creep in that small gap between my jeans and my jacket. (Especially at the small of my back.) One day I took a fleece scarf, wrapped it around my waist, secured it like a bath towel, and then zipped up my jacket--it worked great! I felt so warm, so secure. Why hasn't anyone created this I thought. Well....
Thanks to Google I discovered that tummy warmers were first created in the Samurai period in Japan. It turns out that now they are a "fashion" item in Japan, and hip Americans have imported them. And, though they come in many designs for tweens, teens and twentysomethings, some HARAMAKI are simply solid-colored fleece, for oldsters like me, who just want to keep warm. (I'd like to give a plug to www.haramakilove.com.)
Growing up in the Northeast I learned to wear a hat and gloves, warm socks and boots, and a scarf around my neck. When I lived in Maine, I learned to love long underwear from L.L. Beans. My friends and I joked about old men who didn't take off their long underwear from October through May, though behind the joking I really understood why.
During my time in Maine I learned a lot about macrobiotics, acupuncture and Eastern medicine. I learned that the kidneys are vital to my life's essence and energy. I learned that the dark circles I have always had under my eyes could be due to kidney deficiency (or my heritage as an Ashkenazi Jew).
Here is a rather beautiful excerpt that I just found about the kidneys.
From Zhuang Yuanchen, Shujuzi: Inner Chapters (Shujuzi Neipian), Ming Dynasty:http://www.itmonline.org/5organs/kidney.htm
The kidney is the ocean of the human body. Since oceans are situated on a lower level than the earth's streams and rivers, they draw every one of them to form one large body of water. Oceans may appear vast and inexhaustible, yet they still drain off some of their seemingly unlimited supply. One way of drainage is called 'going to ruins,' meaning the water drains down into the earth from where it will not return. The other way of drainage is called 'dwelling with the stars,' meaning the water steams toward the sky and later rains down to earth again, where it dissipates into rivers and streams and eventually returns to the ocean. This is the water that circulates between heaven and earth, always striving to keep an equilibrium between the extreme states of drought and flooding.
Though I no longer live near the ocean, I do live near Lake Michigan. On cold January mornings, when the air temperature is in the single digits, I see the water steaming towards the sky. I did not know, until I read the passage above, that this is part of the EQUILIBRIUM that I search for between my extreme states of despair and euphoria. When I walk the dogs by the lake each morning my EQUILIBRIUM is rignt in front of me. I have a sense that the animals know this. I am grateful that they bring me closer to the connection between the earth, the water and the sky. It would be so much harder to find the connection, to find EQUILIBRIUM, without them.
Friday, January 1, 2010
EQUILIBRIUM
The word for today is EQUILIBRIUM. It could be the word for the year or even for my whole life. I have been thinking about this word for a long time; I have been wanting to find and experience EQUILIBRIUM for a long time.
When I think of EQUILIBRIUM I think of balance, of all parts being equal and in harmony. I think of myself as a child (young or grown) trying to find the place on a seesaw where I could sit and still have both ends equidistant from the ground. It's hard to do that all alone; you need someone on the other end to move forward and back, you need someone to balance with you. I remember trying to balance by myself by pushing off just a little with the balls of my feet, going up with the seesaw and then finding that short precious moment of balance, but without someone on the other side, I always fell. If I had pushed off too hard, I returned to the ground with a jolt; if I had pushed off softly I had a gentle return.
I do not think that EQUILIBRIUM includes euphoria or despair even if you mix in equal parts of each. EQUILIBRIUM would push euphoria or despair away repelling them like a reverse magnet.
My dictionary defines EQUILIBRIUM as a state of rest of balance due to the equal action of opposing forces; mental or emotional balance; equanimity, which is another word that sounds calm and peaceful.
I think that is all I have to say about EQUILIBRIUM right now. Writing in this blog gives me EQUILIBRIUM. I have missed it.
When I think of EQUILIBRIUM I think of balance, of all parts being equal and in harmony. I think of myself as a child (young or grown) trying to find the place on a seesaw where I could sit and still have both ends equidistant from the ground. It's hard to do that all alone; you need someone on the other end to move forward and back, you need someone to balance with you. I remember trying to balance by myself by pushing off just a little with the balls of my feet, going up with the seesaw and then finding that short precious moment of balance, but without someone on the other side, I always fell. If I had pushed off too hard, I returned to the ground with a jolt; if I had pushed off softly I had a gentle return.
I do not think that EQUILIBRIUM includes euphoria or despair even if you mix in equal parts of each. EQUILIBRIUM would push euphoria or despair away repelling them like a reverse magnet.
My dictionary defines EQUILIBRIUM as a state of rest of balance due to the equal action of opposing forces; mental or emotional balance; equanimity, which is another word that sounds calm and peaceful.
I think that is all I have to say about EQUILIBRIUM right now. Writing in this blog gives me EQUILIBRIUM. I have missed it.
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